How a Yes Space Can Help You Get More Done Without Childcare
Whether you’re navigating the summer months without full-time childcare or juggling remote work year-round, you may find yourself wondering how to keep your child occupied without constant supervision or screen time.
Creating a Yes Space for kids can help those long days run a little more smoothly.
The Challenge of Working from Home with Kids
Shortly after leaving the corporate world to stay home with our two boys, I transitioned into a freelance writing career. My earliest memory of the challenges that come with working from home with small children involves the game my then kindergartener called “bowling with apples”.
It sounds like a cute game. And in fact it might have been, had he and his toddler brother not eaten the skin off the apples and tried to use our two black and white cats as the bowling pins.
That was the day I learned the truth of the phrase,“Silence is golden… unless you have a toddler.”
Cleaning up juicy apple pieces mixed with cat hair and sticky little hands is decidedly NOT golden when you have a major deadline looming. And cleaning hack maybe… once you get the sticky part up, apple juice leaves hardwood floors quite shiny!
Those little guys are big now, and thankfully very self-sufficient these days. But as summer rolls in and many parents try to work remotely without full-time camps or sitters, it’s easy to connect with the overwhelm I felt back then.
I spoke with parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham to get advice on how work-from-home parents can navigate this situation. And as we shared parenting adventures, she encouraged me to tell the apple bowling story. “It wasn’t a tragedy,” she observed. “Parents need permission to not be perfect. They can find humor in the mishaps. And there will be some mishaps.”
Creating a Yes Space for Your Child
Because babies and toddlers so often hear “no no,” or, “don’t touch,” respectful parenting expert Janet Lansbury advises parents to create a Yes Space, or a safe area for little ones to explore and play without your constant intervention.
Simply defined, a Yes Space is a safe environment that allows your child freedom to play, explore, and move about independently.
Under normal circumstances, you might be surprised at how long little ones (even babies) can play on their own once parents stop being their full time entertainer or rule enforcer. Of course, with so much uncertainty right now, it’s natural for kids – especially sensitive children – to pick up on the fear-based energy and need their parents more.
Enter the solution of a Yes Space. “During the day, a small child will be in the same main areas of the house as the parent,” Dr. Markham explains. Children need a place to play that is:
- Near you
- Safe (child-proofed and secure)
- Organized (so they can see what they need, clear bins of toys grouped by category)
Even from an early age, you can empower your child to take ownership of this Yes Space. As you help them keep it clean and organized, Dr. Markham says you teach your child the habit of cleaning up an area before moving on to the next activity like lunch or a nap.
You may want to set up more than one Yes Space around the house. It can offer you and your child a welcome change of scenery. Think of other areas in your home that can serve as a yes space for particular activities.
Consider a Calming Corner
Another way to decrease anxiety is to create a calm down corner at home. This is a place your child can go when they need a break. It’s not a punishment or time out, it is simply a comforting place where people in your home go to settle.
Choose a quiet corner and add some comforting items like a stuffed bean bag chair or rocker. Have your child help add elements they find soothing. Dr. Markham recommends your corner include:
- A photo of your family
- Stuffed animals
- Books about emotions
- Soothing music or a guided meditation
- Calming scents (a lavender sachet)
- Something to write or draw with
Turn Off the TV
And make sure you’re keeping yourself calm. One of the most impactful ways to do this is limit your news consumption. You won’t miss anything important. Believe me, I’ve tried to completely opt out of news, and it still finds its way to me!
But lately I’ve noticed a pattern in Instagram Stories. I watch my friends’ adorable kids doing adorable things with background noise of people arguing about politics or spouting alarming statistics. If I can hear it through the video, so can the kids who are in the same room with it.
I asked Dr. Markham her opinion on this background noise for kids and she candidly said, “I can’t imagine how people think it’s ok to have the news on with their child in hearing distance. The child is going to be super anxious. I recommend parents read just enough to stay informed. Don’t expose yourself to things that will heighten your anxiety.”
Messy Play Can Be Soothing
“When my daughter was a toddler, I gave her a cookie sheet tray for play-dough, glitter, or other messy play items,” Dr. Markham shares. “We didn’t have a big house. The playroom was just a shelf of toys in the dining room near the kitchen. She knew to get out one thing at a time, and I would watch her from the kitchen. She would play for long stretches of time, and she knew when she was finished she had to clean up and get mom’s approval.”
Dr. Markham encourages messy play because it’s soothing. Clay, shave cream, or sand are all things kids can manipulate with their hands.
You can set up a safe outdoor place and work from a patio or deck while your child plays with a sand or water station. Even very young children can easily entertain themselves for an hour this way.
Cultivating a Yes Attitude
Dr. Markham suggests we go beyond creating yes spaces and try to cultivate an overall yes attitude. “That doesn’t mean it’s a free-for-all and the child is able to do anything they want.” It means we make sure their needs are met in a loving, compassionate way. even if it isn’t in the exact way the child hopes.
Find a way to say YES instead of NO even while you set your limit. “YES, it’s time to clean up, and YES, I will help you. YES, if we hurry we can read an extra story, and YES, we can make this fun!”
While no parenting setup is perfect, creating a Yes Space (and a yes mindset) can make the long days feel a little lighter for both of you.
This article was originally published in 2020 and updated in 2025.
