Creating a Yes Space: A Screen-Free Solution for Independent Play
Young children thrive in environments that say “yes” to their curiosity. A yes space supports their natural drive to explore without the usual “no, don’t touch that” or “be careful!” interruptions. It’s a gentle way to foster independence, safety, and trust – while giving parents a much-needed break.
The Challenge of Working from Home with Kids
Shortly after leaving the corporate world to stay home with our two boys, I transitioned into a freelance writing career. My earliest memory of the challenges that come with working from home with small children involves the game my then-kindergartener called “bowling with apples”.
It sounds like a cute game. And in fact it might have been, had he and his toddler brother not eaten the skin off the apples and tried to use our two black and white cats as the bowling pins.
That was the day I learned the truth of the phrase: “Silence is golden… unless you have a toddler.”
Cleaning up juicy apple pieces mixed with cat hair and sticky little hands is decidedly NOT golden when you have a major deadline looming. And cleaning hack (maybe)… once you get the sticky part up, apple juice leaves hardwood floors quite shiny!
Those little guys are big now, and thankfully very self-sufficient these days. But as summer rolls in and many parents try to work from home without full-time camps or sitters, it’s easy to connect with the overwhelm I felt back then.
Creating a Yes Space for Your Child
Because babies and toddlers so often hear “no no,” or, “don’t touch,” respectful parenting expert Janet Lansbury advises parents to create a Yes Space, or a safe area for little ones to explore and play without your constant intervention.
Simply defined, a Yes Space is a safe environment that allows your child freedom to play, explore, and move about independently.
Under normal circumstances, you might be surprised at how long little ones can play on their own once parents stop being their full time entertainer or rule enforcer. Of course, with so much uncertainty right now, it’s natural for kids – especially sensitive children – to pick up on the fear-based energy and need their parents more.
Enter the solution of a Yes Space. Children need a place to play that is:
- Near you
- Safe (child-proofed and secure)
- Organized (so they can see what they need, like clear bins of toys grouped by category)
Even from an early age, you can empower your child to take ownership of this Yes Space. As you help them keep it clean and organized, Dr. Markham says you teach your child the habit of cleaning up an area before moving on to the next activity like lunch or a nap.
You may want to set up more than one Yes Space around the house. It can offer you and your child a welcome change of scenery. Think of other areas in your home that can serve as a yes space for particular activities.
Start Small – or Create a Whole Yes Room
When I was little, my grandmother’s entire house was essentially a yes space. She always had creative projects in the works and was mostly unconcerned with her home being exceptionally tidy.
She made dolls, clothing for the dolls, quilts, and afghans. Most of these were church or charity donations, and they were all in the works at once. There was often a puzzle on her dining room table… until time to host Sunday dinner for the entire family.
Granny also made paper mache puppets and sewed all of their costumes and props. My cousins and I would put on plays behind a huge wooden puppet show theater. Our favorite was the story of the woodcutter who wasted his three wishes. Granny had sewn a snap under the wife puppet’s nose, so when he shouted, “I wish that sausage were hanging from the end of your nose!” we’d reach up and snap a knitted sausage to the end of her nose.
To say we could entertain ourselves at my grandma’s house is the understatement of a lifetime. I certainly couldn’t have accidentally had a flour fight baking cookies with my cousin at my house. (We did clean it up at least to Granny’s standards.)
All of this to say: only you can decide what kind of “yes” environment works for your family. If you only have the bandwidth for a small corner, that’s enough.
Consider a Calming Corner
Another way to decrease anxiety is to create a calm down corner at home. This is a place your child can go when they need a break. It’s not a punishment or time out, it is simply a comforting place where people in your home go to settle.
Choose a quiet corner and add some comforting items like a stuffed bean bag chair or rocker. Have your child help add elements they find soothing:
- A photo of your family
- Stuffed animals
- Books about emotions
- Soothing music or a guided meditation
- Calming scents
- Something to write or draw with
- A couple of sensory or mindfulness toys
Turn Off the TV
And make sure you’re keeping yourself calm. One of the most impactful ways to do this is limit your news consumption. You won’t miss anything important. Believe me, I’ve tried to completely opt out of news, and it still finds its way to me!
But lately I’ve noticed a pattern in Instagram Stories. I watch my friends’ adorable kids doing adorable things with background noise of people arguing about politics or spouting alarming statistics. If I can hear it through the video, so can the kids who are in the same room with it.
I asked parenting expert Dr. Laura Markham her opinion on this background noise for kids and she candidly said, “I can’t imagine how people think it’s ok to have the news on with their child in hearing distance. The child is going to be super anxious. I recommend parents read just enough to stay informed. Don’t expose yourself to things that will heighten your anxiety.”
Cultivating a Yes Attitude
Remembering spending time at my Granny’s house makes me recall how fun it was to be around her. She was fun, engaging, and she loved us. Her overall creativity and yes attitude were contagious. I was inspired to make my own fun because I watched her do it (and also because she wasn’t on 24/7 grandchild entertainment duty).
So, in addition to carving out a little permissive space, find a way to say yes even as you hold a boundary:
“Yes, it’s time to clean up – and yes, I’ll help you.”
“Yes, if we hurry, we can read an extra story.”
“Yes, let’s see how fun we can make this!”
While no parenting setup is perfect, creating a Yes Space (and a yes mindset) can make the long days feel a little lighter for both of you. Whether you’re working from home, caring for multiple children, or just seeking more peaceful rhythms, a Yes Space can offer support and ease.
